This is to you.
This is to the one who broke my heart.
This is to the one I gave everything to, the one that let me down.
This is to the one that didn't stand up for me when I needed you.
This is to the one who turned your back on me, the one who just made the biggest mistake of your life.
This is to you, enjoy.
We had so many good times together. You made me laugh when nobody on this planet could. You made me smile when I just wanted to cry. You were there for me. You listened to my problems, and you helped me solve them. I cried on your shoulder so many times. You made the pain go away. You comforted me. I felt so safe, so happy.
I remember first talking to you. In the bleachers of a Springtown football game, you told me you liked my earmuffs. You kept flirting, and gave me your jacket. I remember going home that night and adding you on facebook, hoping you would talk to me. The girl who ruined us, she was the same one who brought us together. I remember that.
I remember our first date. I remember being scared to death. I wanted you to like me, and I was scared you wouldn't. I spent about 3 hours before, nervous out of my mind. But as soon as I was with you, all those nerves disappeared. We liked all the same music, laughed at all the same jokes. We spent three hours on my front porch talking about everything. You made me laugh so much, and I just knew I could fall in love with you.
And that's what scared me.
I was scared to fall in love with you, scared of getting hurt, scared of what could happen if I did let you in and it didn't work out. You worked so hard to get to know me, for me to tell you everything, to learn every single part of me and to discover more every day. I let myself fall in love with you. You promised it was the right choice, you promised you wouldn't hurt me.
Silly girl, how could I believe such a promise? There is hurt in every relationship, eventually. For some reason, I took your word for it.
I devoted all my time and effort to you. I did everything I could to make you happy, and you made me so very happy as well. I would like to thank you for every good memory I have with you, there are way too many to count. I love your family, they were so welcoming to me. I loved our relationship. We spent so much time just laughing together, being happy, doing things we both enjoyed. I spent weeks stressing over your birthday, trying to get everything perfect. I thought you deserved the best, and I did the very best I could for you. Many people told me how jealous they were of us, of everything we did for each other.
We also spent so much time crying. So many times, you hurt me deeply, and I let you. I hurt you, too, and I'm sorry for that.
I know more about you than you think I do. I know why you do the things you do, and I know that you think your friends are the most important people in the world, and you never wanted to be known as the "guy who ditched his friends for his girl". Instead, you'd rather be the guy who ditched his girl for his friends, over, and over, and over. You made me feel bad for being upset, but I just wanted you to stand up for me this once. No matter what your friends said, I deserved that, I was worth that. You believed your friends' judgements of our relationships, when we are the only people that have the authority to judge our relationship. You let other peoples's judgements get to you so much that it affected our relationship. It affected it to the point that you thought there was something wrong, when there wasn't.
I needed you. You used to be there for me. But, when I needed you the most, you turned your back. You did the most horrible thing you could ever do to me in such a situation, and I can never let my good memories of you overcome that. I will never get why you did not stay with me, stay on my side, because I am so sure I would've done that for you. I have despised anyone that has hurt you, and it sure as heck would not have happened on my watch. Why couldn't you do that for me? I am not saying you are a horrible person. You were a good boyfriend to me, but you broke my heart. I didn't know how this truly felt until now. You left me with a broken heart, even though I'm the one who broke up with you. It needed to be done. No, we can't just be friends. I'm in love with you, and I could never just be your friend. You should have been there, been the man you were supposed to be. You made your choice, well now I've made mine.
I hope one day you realize the mistake you made. I hope you realize you should have been with me, not with her; I hope you realize that I am worth enough to be stood up for, no matter what your friends would say. Of course, by the time you realize that, it will be much too late.
So to you, the boy who messed up the best thing he could have ever had.
From me, the girl you will one day wish you never hurt.
<3
